Ron’s Review

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I had never heard of Carolina Caroline when I saw this film at the Cineplex Surprise Screening. Going in with no knowledge can be fun when watching a film, but only if the story is completely unexpected and unusual. That doesn’t describe this film, at all. Aside from one funny moment, the rest of the film was painfully formulaic and such a retread of older heist films, that there was nothing exciting about it.

The story beats could be seen a mile away, and never once did they subvert expectations. It’s basically Bonnie and Clyde for 2026. Not only that, the act breaks were so obvious. Yes, screenplays have a structure but my goodness, why would you signpost it that strongly? Where is the surprise, the nuance of storytelling?

The biggest drawback of this film is that it is dreadfully boring. Just, slow and dull. I ended up watching the audience at times because the action onscreen was non-existent. The pace picks up right at the end of Act 2; that’s far too late. Had I not paid money for this screening, I would have left 15 minutes into Act 1. I understand that’s where the setup happens but it’s so badly done here. All of Act 1 was about the love story between Caroline and Oliver. All of it! That’s not the thrust of this film—it’s about a couple of fraudsters and bank robbers. How is that barely addressed in the opening act?

As if the story wasn’t bad enough, the acting was atrocious. Kyle Gallner has one expression on his face throughout the movie. He’s supposed to be the brooding, mysterious con-man, but shouldn’t he at least be charming? Interesting? Nope, all we get is bland. He emotes once, at the end of the movie.

Samara Weaving does this weird giggly thing throughout the film which is supposed to be cute or endearing, I guess, but comes off as way too immature. She too has one scene where she emotes but the rest of the movie, she’s giggly or crying.

It’s so obvious that there were no women behind the scenes because the film is so male gaze-y. Ugh. It gets seriously uncomfortable at times the way Weaving is shot.

I also have to call out the soundtrack of this film because it didn’t work for me. I’m not a country music fan, as it is, but the songs all sounded the same. At one point the couple’s special song comes on and I couldn’t tell because it sounded like all the other songs! It didn’t help that either the sound mixing was off or the Cineplex audio was poor but the sound effects and the music were very loud and hurt my ears. The dialogue often got drowned out.

There is nothing recommending this film. The story is a retread of better films; the acting is poor to non-existent. The pacing is so slow and the music is forgettable. Give this boring film a miss.

Mon’s Review

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I didn’t know anything about Carolina Caroline. I may have vaguely heard of it. But I’m always down for something new and different. But the problem with Carolina Caroline is that it commits the ultimate sin of entertainment media — it’s boring.

I don’t mean slow. I don’t mean cerebral. It’s literally treading water for three-quarters of the film. If you’re trying to show us a burgeoning romance, then the least you can do is make sure the leads have chemistry. Samara Weaving and Kyle Gallner definitely do not. Worse, he looks 40 and she acts like she’s 12. Those weird babydoll affectations only make the ‘romance’ that much less appealing.

Add to that, their romance makes no sense because they don’t have any personality. Caroline is the epitome of the male gaze — an ingenue who happens to have zero self-preservation skills. She’s shot, costumed and written like a trope out of the 80s. I couldn’t get my head around this choice, nor why anyone would willingly choose to take on this tedious role.

Gallner’s character is little more than the teacher and instigator. Who really is this man? He’s so flat as a character that it’s impossible to understand his true motives, be it towards his work or towards Caroline.

The film thinks it’s being extremely clever or timely with its monologuing about corporations and capitalism. But that’s lip service. What it really wants to be is a by-the-numbers Bonnie and Clyde remake with less charisma, zero pace, and no message.

I’d have forgiven the film all of that had it at least been fun. It wasn’t. It was a drag watching this film. Not only was there no rhythm to the storytelling, the performances were either flat, ham-fisted, or with Weaving, too affected. Worse still, the music choices were so dull. They all sounded the same, to the point that when a song of significance came on I didn’t even know till the characters were well into the emotional journey of it. It didn’t help that this Cineplex theatre had sound issues and our ears were basically blasted from the left side.

Had I not paid to watch the surprise premiere, I would have given up. But we, the Stereo Geeks, have made this great sacrifice and sat through Carolina Caroline so that you don’t have to.